This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
With material prosperity comes the ability to choose and refuse. When the threat of hunger or starvation has never cast its shadow at our tables, we have the luxury of developing discerning tastes. Our kids may love sushi, but hate curry; their mouths may water at the thought of a warm apple crumble but pucker at the thought of kale.
With a global food market at our doorstep, our tastes and 'needs' have become exotic and complex. I remember overhearing one of my children opening his lunchbox to check the contents before school.
'oh not mango again,' he sighed wearily.
Hugh and I exchanged horrified glances, what had we done wrong, that our child should have become so dismissive and bored about what to us was the ultimate luxury fruit treat. But then I didn't taste a mango until I was in my late teens. To me it seemed a luxury item to be savoured..well of course it's not, 2 for a pound in Tesco's doesn't encourage special treatment. You might even buy two and one will end up rotten in the compost bin.
Our children have the luxury of choice rather than the luxury of treats. Treats are every day now, the magic sparkle of their rarity dulled to everyday mundanity. I remember the excitement in my dad's voice when he described to me his first taste of banana after the second world war rationing ended when he was seven. The absolute thrill of the moment was as vivid as it had been all those years ago.
I love treats and I make sure that my children experience treats, but that does mean limiting their appearance to rare occasions, just to distil that exquisite pleasure of having something really special. I buy seasonally too, so the first taste of a summer raspberry just makes you sigh with pleasure and the memories of summers gone by, the first roast parsnip of autumn fills you with its mellow sweetness and promise of winter chills.
As for the luxury of choice, is it really a luxury or a burden? In our home, choice is pretty limited when it comes to food, as in, would you like nuts or apple on your porridge? Usually I just serve up. I believe that too much choice is confusing and burdensome for young children and puts them in an uncomfortable and uneasy position which they are not ready to take on. We are the adults, and hopefully have adequate nutritional knowledge to provide well for our children's dietary needs, and the creativity to make the food appealing. We also need the confidence to just decide ourselves what's best.
I make one meal and expect everyone to eat it. If they don't want to that's fine, but there will not be an alternative and no snacking until the next meal. Because there is no choice everyone does tend to eat, altough I do admit to having some sneaky delicious kale and swede ideas up my sleeve for those mainstays of our winter veg box! See end of post!
My method can be tough to carry out but it's simple and it works, it really does! Our choices with food in the west today may be tantalising and exciting but they have also contribuited to the pickiest kids in the world's history! And yes I have had a fussy one. Lily went through a long vegetable shy stage, and I had to take many of deep breaths to get through it, oh! and implement the two bite rule....two bites even if you don't like it, and do you know, before long, she did like it...whatever it was!
I love things to be simple, and I find too much choice overwhelming too!
But really my kids love food because we spend so much time in the kitchen. From the time they could peel a garlic clove or tip flour around they have all been cooking. Stirring, chopping, kneading, beating, creating. Leo stole some flour the other day when my back was turned and made a half decent, if rather solid raisin bread. Fred has spent vast amounts of the recent holiday cooking, (freeing me up to pack for our move!) rustling up a chicken and leek gluten free pie, and ratatouille stuffed pancakes, bread, and soup.Tansy is my steady reliable chopper and helper, always at my elbow with her little knife. It's so important for kids to see and be part of the process, what child is going to turn their noses up at something they have made themselves? Even if it does contains swede or kale!
Kale and swede solutions!
- Pasties, a great way to involve the more challenging root vegeatables, chop small and vary the contents.
- swede chips, yum, serve with homemade tomato sauce.
- swede cakes, mash with butter and some potato and form into little cakes to fry.
- Kale in sausage casserole, delicious and soft.
- Kale and cream pasta sauce, boil tub of cream with 6 (less if nervous) cloves of garlic for five mins, then puree with bag of steamed kale. Lily's favourite pasta sauce.
- Kale in anything really, chopped and added to lentil soups, vegeatable and grain mixes,
- Kale chips, tear kale into pices and mix with scant olive oil, bake on a tray until crisp, they are delicious.
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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon November 8 with all the carnival links.)
- Baking & letting go — Cooking with kids can be a mess. Nadia at Red White & GREEN Mom is learning to relax, be patient, and have fun with the process.
- Family feeding in Child of Mine — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews Ellyn Satter's suggestions for appropriate feeding and points out where her family has problems following through.
- Children with Knives! (And other Kitchen Tools) — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy teaches her children how to safely use knives.
- "Mommy, Can I Help?" — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how she lets her kiddos help out with cooking, despite her {sometimes} lack of patience!
- Solids the Second Time Around — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts her experiences introducing solids to her second child.
- The Adventure of Toddler Tastebuds — The Accidental Natural Mama shares a few things that helped her daughter develop an adventurous palate.
- A Tradition of Love — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy looks forward to sharing the kitchen traditions passed on from her mom and has already found several ways to involve baby in the kitchen.
- The Very Best Classroom — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts reveals how her kitchen is more than a place to make food - it's a classroom!
- Raising Little Chefs — Chef Mike guest posts on Natural Parents Network about how he went from a guy who couldn't cook to a chef who wanted to teach his boys to know how the food we love is made.
- In the Kitchen with my kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares a delicious soup recipe that her kids love.
- Papa, the Pancake Artist — Papa's making an incredible breakfast over at Our Mindful Life.
- Kids won't eat salad? Try this one! — Tat at Mum in Search is sharing her children's favourite salad recipe.
- Recipe For a Great Relationship — Cooking with kids is about feeding hearts as well as bellies, writes Hannah at Wild Parenting.
- The Ritual of Mealtimes — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins writes about the significance of mealtimes in her family’s daily rhythm.
- Kid, Meet Food. Food, Kid. — Alburnet at What's Next? panicks about passing on her food "issues" to her offspring.
- Growing Up in the Kitchen — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how her son is growing up in the kitchen.
- Harvesting Corn and History — From Kenna at School Garden Year: The kids in the school garden harvest their corn and learn how much history grows in their food.
- My Guiding Principles for Teaching my Child about Food — Tree at Mom Grooves uses these guiding principles to give her daughter a love of good food and an understanding of nutrition as well as to empower her to make the best choices for her body.
- Kitchen Control — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro writes about her struggles to relinquish control in the kitchen to her children.
- Food — Emma at Your Fonder Heart lets her seven month old teach her how to feed a baby.
- Kitchen Fun? — Adrienne at Mommying My Way questions how much fun she can have in a non-functional kitchen, while trying to remain positive about the blessings of cooking for her family.
- Kitchen Adventures — Erica at ChildOrganics shares fun ways to connect with your kids in the kitchen.
- Kids in the Kitchen: Finding the Right Tools — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares some of her favorite child-sized kitchen gadgets and where to find them.
- The Kitchen Classroom — Laura at Authentic Parenting knows that everything your kids want to learn is at the end of the ladle.
- Kids in the Kitchen — Luschka from Diary of a First Child talks about the role of the kitchen in family communication and shares fun kitchen activities for the under two.
- Our Kitchen is an Unschooling Classroom. — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle explores the many ways her kitchen has become a rich environment for learning.
- Montessori-Inspired Food Preparation for Preschoolers — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares lots of resources for using Montessori food preparation activities for young children in the kitchen.
- My Little Healthy Eater — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares her research on what is the best first food for babies, and includes a healthy and yummy breakfast recipe.
- Two Boys and Papa in the Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster? — MudpieMama shares all about her fears, joys and discoveries when the boys and handsome hubby took over the kitchen.
- Food choices, Food treats — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea shares her family's relationship with food.
- learning to eat — Catherine at learner mummy reflects on little M's first adventures with food.
- The Night My 7-Year-Old Made Dinner — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares how her 7-year-old daughter surprised everyone by turning what started as an idea to play restaurant into pulling off making supper for her family.
- Cooking With a High-Needs Toddler — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how Montessori-inspired activities and a bit of acceptance have helped her overcome hurdles in cooking while caring for a "high-needs" child.
- Kids in the Kitchen – teaching healthy food choices — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her belief in the importance of getting kids into the kitchen using her favorite cookbook for kids to develop healthy food choices now and hopefully into the future.
- Make Milk, Not War — Tamara at Tea for Three remembers the daily food fights as she struggled to feed a picky eater.
- teaching baby birds about good food. — Sarah at Small Bird on Fire writes about the ways in which her family chooses to gently teach their son how to make wise food decisions.
- 5 Ways to Enhance Your Baby or Young Toddler's Relationship with Food — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares simple ways to give your child a healthy beginning to her lifelong relationship with food.
- Toddler at the Table: 10 Creative Solutions — Moorea at Mamalady shares tips for preventing meal-time power struggles.
- How My Child Takes Responsibility During His Mealtime... — Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy shares how she teaches and encourages her 32 months old son on adopting good manners and responsibilities during his mealtimes...
- Kids in the Kitchen: 6 Tips Plus a Recipe — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares six tips for overcoming some of the the difficulties of cooking with multiple young sous chefs, and a recipe they all can agree on!
- How BLW has made me a better parent — Zoe at Mummykins shares how baby-led weaning has changed her approach to parenting.
- My Budding Chef — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom is no cook but is happy that her daughter has shown an inclination and manages to whip up yummy goodies for their family.
- Kids in the Kitchen: An Activity for Every Age — Gaby from Tmuffin describes how she keeps her kids busy in the kitchen, whether they are one week old or two years old.
- The Phantastically Mutlipurposed Phyllo — Ana at Pandamoly shares how Phyllo is used to create enticing dishes at home! Anything can be made into a Struedel!
- Kitchen Kids — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen shares her children's most favorite recipe to make, experience and eat.
- Independence vs. Connection in the Kitchen: won't you please get yourself your own snack already? — Lisa at Organic Baby Atlanta wishes her daughter would just go make a mess in the kitchen. But her daughter only wants to do it together.
- Grandma Rose's Kitchen — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter reminisces about her childhood and dreams of filling her kitchen with people, love, noise, and messes.
- Healthy Food Choices for Kids — Jorje offers one way to encourage children to make their own healthy food choices at MommaJorje.com.
- Cooking food to thrive rather than survive — Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales is trying to foster a lifetime of good food habits by teaching her children about the importance of avoiding junk, cooking healthy meals, and learning about the whole food process.
- Evolution of a self-led eater — Sheila at A Gift Universe shares the story of how her son grew from nursing around the clock to eating everything in sight, without her having to push.
- 10 Ways Tiny Helps In The Kitchen — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama explores the ways in which her toddler actively participates in kitchen-related activities.
- The Complexity of Feeding a Child — Feeding children a healthy diet is no straight-forward task, but Lisa at My World Edenwild shares some general guidelines to help your child thrive.
- Lactation Cookies — That Mama Gretchen shares a fun recipe that will benefit both mamas and babies!
- 50 of the Best Books, Websites, & Resources to Inspire Kids in the Kitchen — Need inspiration to get your kids in the kitchen? Dionna at Code Name: Mama rounds up some of the best books and websites that can serve as a source for ideas, recipes, and cooking with littles fun.
- A 4-year-old's smoothie recipe — Jen at Grow With Graces and her son set out to make a smoothie without the usual ingredients. She let him improvise. See how it turned out.
- Independent Food Preparation (My Toddler Can Do That?) — Megan at Montessori Moments shares simple ways for children to prepare their own healthy snacks.
- Follow Your Gut — Amy at Anktangle shares her philosophy about intuitive eating, and how she's trying to foster her son's trust in his own inner wisdom when he feels hungry.
- A TODDLER-STYLE LUNCH + RECIPE — Manic Mrs. Stone photographs how to have messy fun during lunchtime with a helpful toddler.
I agree - so many of us have such a wide variety of food experiences that our grandparents or those on different income levels did/cannot enjoy. I do appreciate the fact that I can give my children some control over their food options, though. As the adult, I choose what to buy and serve, and I do try to respect the fact that my child may not share my fervor for certain dishes. Of course the alternatives are limited ;)
ReplyDeleteYes of course, not all children relish certain foods, and I certainly never force anyone to eat anything! Limited choice seems like a good option!
ReplyDeleteA wonderful post. I have a love - hate relationship with food which only a person from the developed world could sustain. After many years of confusion, I have come to the realisation that I have an oral fixation. I sucked my thumb until I was 24 at which point I took up smoking. I smoked until I started trying for a baby in 2008 and as a result of quitting gained 4 stone in weight (before I became pregnant). Food is more than just nourishment to me and while I want to pass on the enjoyment of food to the children I don't want to pass on the reliance on it for comfort.
ReplyDeleteLife is sometimes not as straightforward as we think, don't you think?
I agree totally... I was brought up with absolutely no fuss surrounding food in that we ate what was served for us... and we never even thought of complaining. I hope to bring my children up in the same light, appreciating food for what it is : nourishment. Thanks for sharing, a great read :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comments, Valerie and African Babies don't cry, yes, everything has got so complicated hasn't it? Surely food should sustain and nourish us and provide simple convivial pleasure, not be the source of 'issues' and power struggles and comfort eating. Thankyou so much for sharing
ReplyDeleteI loved this: "Our children have the luxury of choice rather than the luxury of treats." And isn't it funny, I think of mango as a luxury fruit, too! I grew up with apples, bananas, oranges, melon, and berries - but we didn't eat many raspberries or blackberries after we moved away from the wild fruit bushes because they weren't as good. So I had mango for the first time in my early 20s and since then I have been addicted!
ReplyDeleteI love your statement "I make sure that my children experience treats, but that does mean limiting their appearance to rare occasions, just to distil that exquisite pleasure of having something really special." Your kids are lucky to develop healthy tastes now and have the opportunity to truly enjoy treats when they get them! Deb @ LivingMontessoriNow.com
ReplyDeleteThankyou Megan and Deb, for your comments, funny about the mango thing! So much exotic food has now become commonplace it doesn't quite have the same sparkle. Also the whole mass production, air freighted issue is another huge one for me, but that's one for another post !
ReplyDeleteSince we are in the Caribbean, my children have grown up with mango's since they were born but an apple is exotic! I'm in slightly the other end of the spectrum in that I don't feel we have enough choice and variety in our foods as any alternative foods here are very limited. That does make us more creative and we eat probably 90% locally and seasonally. It also means like you -it's one meal or nothing much else! I'm looking forward to a time when we can travel and have more access to different foods so that my children's tastebuds (and mine) are tantalized (all healthy options mind you!) Like you my children are enjoying being in the kitchen and learning so much from the experience!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't read this without remembering this story about a child (his mother) receiving an orange for Chirstmas in 1920 from James Hollis' excellent book "Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding our Darker Selves." :
ReplyDelete"My mother once told me that the most precious Christmas gift she ever received came to her around 1920, when she received an orange, and only an orange, for Christmas, a gift from her mother, who took in washing and sewing for them to survive. This was before refrigerated trucks and trains, so for an orange to even survive the trip north was a small miracle. It was the first orange she had ever seen, and she knew that her magical gift came through great sacrifice by her mother. I think of this every year when I watch ordinary people pummeling each other to get into Wal-mart or Costco at 6:00 a.m. On Black Friday, the onset of the celebration of the purported Prince of Peace, the onset of a materialist frenzy that mocks his life and teaching."
By the way, you seem to have the least picky, least bizarrely food obssessed children of anyone I know. Usually when we have meals with our friend's kids it's a nightmare, partly because they don't sit down to meals together at home as a family (that's a dying custom here in Canada) and partly because they are used to choosing what they eat, not their parents. If we are visiting our friends homes, while the adults eat a good nutritious meal that has been carefully prepared, the kids nuke a box of macaroni and cheese and eat it in front of the TV.
Hi Terry, yes limited options do make us creative don't they...90 seasonal and local, I'm really impressed, blessings from Devon to the Carribean!
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurel for that lovely sharing, you've exactly got what I'm saying, as usual! It also reminds me of Laura and Mary's Christmases in the Little House on the Prairie books, an orange a tincup and a candy stick, and so savoured and treasured. Have you read them? My kids really love them!
I was thinking of Little House, too, and their excitement over an orange for Christmas. It is funny how our wonder at the long journeys citrus fruit must take for us has been dulled.
ReplyDeleteWe're considering limiting snacks and choices around here, so it's interesting to read your views!
All the above line is fact if you want really lose your weight.
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